He Cheated . . . . What’s Wrong With Me?

*This is not medical advice. Seek help from a qualified professional. If you are feeling unsafe call 911 or 211.

Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you.

(Take a breath and let that sink in.)

You did not cause your spouse to roam. Even if your relationship had been struggling, even if you admit you had hurt him–you did not cause the affair to happen.

According to Shirley P. Glass, author of Not Just Friends, even the happiest of couples can fall into infidelity. You can be close, happy, and committed, and still one of you can stumble.

In other words, you could be a “10,” the marriage could be picture-perfect, and your spouse still might mess up.

That’s an uncomfortable thought. 

We like to think that our marriage is above infidelity. We would never stray, or, we can prevent our spouse from cheating if we are a good enough partner.

But we can’t be “perfect” enough to prevent a spouse from cheating.  Your spouse cheated for countless reasons, and no amount of weight lost, arguments avoided, or makeovers attempted could have stopped it.

Instead of asking the question, What’s wrong with me? consider what may have been coming between you and your spouse. Could a therapist or a trusted friend help you two talk out what happened?