How does a marriage intensive differ from a couples therapy session?

Objective and Purpose

The intensive requires a clear objective or problem to be solved by the close of the intensive. For example, a couple may be deciding whether to uproot the family to take a job across the world, or a couple may be deciding whether they should separate, divorce or stay together at home following a discovery of infidelity. It can not be guaranteed  by the therapist that the couple will reach a solution by the end, but the therapist continually brings the couple back to the objective. The stakes for the intensive are usually high and time sensitive.

The weekly couples sessions also have a goal for the therapy, but the sessions have less of a make-or-break tone. The sessions may begin with one goal for the day, but the goal may evolve over the course of the session. The couple understands that there will likely be unfinished business at the end of session, and that the therapist will assign homework to be done before the next session. 

Length of Time

A regular couples session lasts 50 to 90 minutes while an intensive lasts 2 hours to as much as 2 days consisting of approximately 6 hours each day.

A marriage intensive is meant to accomplish much more than a weekly session. The intensive lasts longer than a 50- or 90-minute session, allowing for laser-focused attention on a problem. It's faster paced than a weekly because the client need not go home after a session, wait a week, then return to the office, thus the tone and intention of the session needing to be established again. The intensive allows the clients to find more closure before leaving the office. 

Sometimes weekly couples therapy stalls because everyday life distracts couple from making timely changes. The time spent between sessions is enough to lose follow-through and motivation. 

Who is the best fit for a marriage intensive?

The couple who is in crisis and needs to make decisions over the course of a weekend, not a season. This is the couple who is discerning divorce or reconciliation, the couple who has high stakes riding on the couseling's outcome, or the couple who is sick of the slog of weekly therapy and wants to see results SOON. 

Who Might Prefer Weekly Counseling?

Weekly counseling may be preferred is time is not an issue, and the couple desires couples therapy that unfolds over time, meeting each issue as it comes. The weeklies still include structure and goals, but it allows for "rabbit holes" and even for breaks from therapy. Sometimes the couples includes intermittent individual therapy, returning to couples therapy biweekly or monthly.

Drawing on my specialized training in couples therapy, I thoughtfully prepare for each intensive to ensure our time together is focused on your unique needs. This includes having you and your spouse complete questionnaires in advance so I can better understand your relationship and help us make the most of our time together. I have seen couples gain greater clarity and confidence in their decisions through this process.

Couples therapy not appropriate sometimes.

If a couple has current abuse, addictions, or severe mental health problems, the marriage intensive is not the best choice. These couples can do an intensive once they find healing via the appropriate clinicians. 

Insurance and Intensives

For several reasons, I do not accept insurance for couples therapy. Insurance companies often require a mental health diagnosis for one individual, and coverage for couples therapy is not always consistent. For this reason, sessions with me would need to be private pay.