Remaining Married When Your Spouse Is Narcissistic

*This is not medical advice. Please see a qualified professional. 

Marriage is already hard work—but being married to someone with strong narcissistic traits brings unique challenges. Some people choose to leave, while others decide to stay. If you’ve chosen to remain, here are a few tools that can help you protect your heart and well being and keep the marriage functional:

Redefine expectations. A narcissistic spouse is unlikely to meet your emotional needs. Accepting this reality can reduce constant disappointment. Of course, this is easier said than done. We can get used to holding out hope for change.

Set and hold clear boundaries. Boundaries are not punishments—they’re self-protection. They focus on what YOU will do. Clearly state what you will and won’t accept, and follow through consistently. Their response will be telling.

Don’t personalize their behavior. Narcissistic reactions often come from their own insecurities and patterns, not because of your worth or effort.

Choosing to stay is not a simple decision. No one can make the choice for you but you.